In case you wonder...

As I drove the narrow road into Berry College, I tried to anticipate everything a summer of WinShape Camps would entail. I took the offer to be a camp counselor because I had a sure feeling that turning it down would equal me missing out on something HUGE. Boy was I right! Those unsure moments seem like a lifetime ago. My mind wanders. How could my summer have been filled with anything except all of the memories that now consume my heart and mind?

The memories remind me of the moments.The moments...several of which I wish I could have frozen in time, but instead had to settle for taking lots of mental pictures and storing them close to my heart. Walking hand in hand with a precious little one as she sings a Cricket song she wrote just for me. Making sure she knows how beautiful she is and persuading her to never forget it. Praying with my little dalmatian-dressed brunette as she smiled a toothless grin while excepting Christ for the first time. Laughing until tears were near as I watched my babies' energetic dance moves on the front row. Being the recipient of a run on embrace when my darling camper had only been separated from me for an hour. Sitting on the couch while five little girls cackle as they do their best to braid my hair. Squeezing really close together to share story time and goodnight prayers before bed. The list could go on forever.....really.

The silly thing is this...It was my job to show my campers the love of Christ each day. To teach them about what it looks like when we decide to let Jesus sit on the throne room of our hearts. To help them understand what it means to build protective walls around our hearts and only let positive, Jesus-honoring things inside those walls. To illustrate in the best possible way the love Christ offers to each of them in a personal manner, like no gift they have ever been given before. To encourage them to not be ashamed in flying the banner of Love, always being motivated to love others and extend grace like Jesus does. BUT it was my beloved campers who taught me these things over and over again each day, by words and actions. My heart did not know it could love in such capacity. 

A changed heart? No doubt.
Solid relationships built? Like none I have ever had before.
Memories that still cause me to laugh and cry? Of course.
Summer of a lifetime? You bet.  

Running the Wrong Way

One of the most comforting feelings when facing a trial is being able to confide in someone who has faced the exact same thing.  Something about knowing the other person has walked down the same path provides a feeling of safety. A person who has been there understands there might not always be words to encourage, but he or she recognizes the comfort that presence and companionship brings. 

Each time I face a trial of my own, one of the first things I do is try and think of who I can talk to that will give me the best advice and help me to feel better. Why is it that I so often forget the One who understands more than anyone else ever could? I neglect the one who knows what I feel before I speak it. It literally brings me to tears to try and fathom how someone knows every detail of my life: my pain, my worries, my fears, and my insecurities. The incredible part is, not only does he know these hidden places of my heart, but He has been there! He has walked through the challenging journey of life here on Earth, and He has experienced and felt the agony it causes. 

I am lead to the place in scriptures where it tells of Judas' plan to betray Jesus. Keep in mind, Judas is one of the disciples, which were Jesus' closest companions while on Earth. These were the men He did life with, always being transparent. Jesus shared with and invested in these men and set a mighty high standard for friendships reflecting the father.  Matthew 26 tells us that Judas went to the chief priests and asked what they were willing to give him if he handed over Jesus. I cannot begin to imagine what was going through the Lord's mind as He was able to see the heart of Judas. Judas followed through with his plan and betrayed Jesus for thirty silver coins. I wonder to myself if those thirty coins were worth it, but I am sure Judas would agree that they were not. 

I have felt betrayal, but I cannot imagine it comparing to the betrayal Jesus felt when Judas came to kiss him on the cheek that night. Jesus' response, "Friend, do what you came here for." Is there a more clear reminder that Jesus' love for each of his children is not conditional? At the darkest of places in the relationship between Jesus and Judas, Jesus still calls him friend.  This challenges me. Do I have that kind of strength? Of course I cannot respond to every situation in the same way Jesus did, but it is my goal to try. 

All of this to say....there are many stages in life. With each stage brings new struggles and trials, but I am convinced there is not one emotion I feel that my savior, the author of my faith, has not felt. If he has endured all that I may face, is there really another person I should run to for comfort?