In case you wonder...

As I drove the narrow road into Berry College, I tried to anticipate everything a summer of WinShape Camps would entail. I took the offer to be a camp counselor because I had a sure feeling that turning it down would equal me missing out on something HUGE. Boy was I right! Those unsure moments seem like a lifetime ago. My mind wanders. How could my summer have been filled with anything except all of the memories that now consume my heart and mind?

The memories remind me of the moments.The moments...several of which I wish I could have frozen in time, but instead had to settle for taking lots of mental pictures and storing them close to my heart. Walking hand in hand with a precious little one as she sings a Cricket song she wrote just for me. Making sure she knows how beautiful she is and persuading her to never forget it. Praying with my little dalmatian-dressed brunette as she smiled a toothless grin while excepting Christ for the first time. Laughing until tears were near as I watched my babies' energetic dance moves on the front row. Being the recipient of a run on embrace when my darling camper had only been separated from me for an hour. Sitting on the couch while five little girls cackle as they do their best to braid my hair. Squeezing really close together to share story time and goodnight prayers before bed. The list could go on forever.....really.

The silly thing is this...It was my job to show my campers the love of Christ each day. To teach them about what it looks like when we decide to let Jesus sit on the throne room of our hearts. To help them understand what it means to build protective walls around our hearts and only let positive, Jesus-honoring things inside those walls. To illustrate in the best possible way the love Christ offers to each of them in a personal manner, like no gift they have ever been given before. To encourage them to not be ashamed in flying the banner of Love, always being motivated to love others and extend grace like Jesus does. BUT it was my beloved campers who taught me these things over and over again each day, by words and actions. My heart did not know it could love in such capacity. 

A changed heart? No doubt.
Solid relationships built? Like none I have ever had before.
Memories that still cause me to laugh and cry? Of course.
Summer of a lifetime? You bet.  

Running the Wrong Way

One of the most comforting feelings when facing a trial is being able to confide in someone who has faced the exact same thing.  Something about knowing the other person has walked down the same path provides a feeling of safety. A person who has been there understands there might not always be words to encourage, but he or she recognizes the comfort that presence and companionship brings. 

Each time I face a trial of my own, one of the first things I do is try and think of who I can talk to that will give me the best advice and help me to feel better. Why is it that I so often forget the One who understands more than anyone else ever could? I neglect the one who knows what I feel before I speak it. It literally brings me to tears to try and fathom how someone knows every detail of my life: my pain, my worries, my fears, and my insecurities. The incredible part is, not only does he know these hidden places of my heart, but He has been there! He has walked through the challenging journey of life here on Earth, and He has experienced and felt the agony it causes. 

I am lead to the place in scriptures where it tells of Judas' plan to betray Jesus. Keep in mind, Judas is one of the disciples, which were Jesus' closest companions while on Earth. These were the men He did life with, always being transparent. Jesus shared with and invested in these men and set a mighty high standard for friendships reflecting the father.  Matthew 26 tells us that Judas went to the chief priests and asked what they were willing to give him if he handed over Jesus. I cannot begin to imagine what was going through the Lord's mind as He was able to see the heart of Judas. Judas followed through with his plan and betrayed Jesus for thirty silver coins. I wonder to myself if those thirty coins were worth it, but I am sure Judas would agree that they were not. 

I have felt betrayal, but I cannot imagine it comparing to the betrayal Jesus felt when Judas came to kiss him on the cheek that night. Jesus' response, "Friend, do what you came here for." Is there a more clear reminder that Jesus' love for each of his children is not conditional? At the darkest of places in the relationship between Jesus and Judas, Jesus still calls him friend.  This challenges me. Do I have that kind of strength? Of course I cannot respond to every situation in the same way Jesus did, but it is my goal to try. 

All of this to say....there are many stages in life. With each stage brings new struggles and trials, but I am convinced there is not one emotion I feel that my savior, the author of my faith, has not felt. If he has endured all that I may face, is there really another person I should run to for comfort?

my LORD is Faithful.

What a beautiful reminder of God's almighty power and faithfulness. He hears our cries and prayers, always. This video is an astounding testimony to the plans the LORD orchestrates for our lives even before we our born. I hope you take the time to watch...I promise it is worth it. PS. Grab some tissues!

Sandy Jobe shares the story of her daughter's miraculous birth and pursuit of music. You can watch her heartfelt story by clicking on the link below.

Her Story- Kari Jobe

A Cry for Brokenness

   As I go throughout my day, I often times long for the late hours of the night to come around so I can become wrapped up in my quiet time.  When I think about the few moments I will spend seeking His will and digging in His word, I mainly have one prayer...to be filled up. If all of my desires were summed up, that would explain it.  After I have faced another day, I need more than anything for my precious Savior to pour into me the wisdom and understanding that comes only through His word. I pray that he will open my heart to be accepting and aware of what He has to offer me. 
   Even as I have prayed this prayer and felt this desire in my heart, I noticed the other night that I am completely missing a step. Before something can be full, it must first be empty. I know my God has wanted to fill me up each time I have asked. He is ready and waiting with all of His grace and peace, but he hasn't been able to fill me because I have not first asked him to empty me. His best has nowhere to go when I am already filled up with my fears, worries, and doubts. Those things hinder, and they must be gone in order for me to be consumed with all the LORD has to offer. After I realized I have been missing a part of the process, I also quickly came to the conclusion that emptiness is not an easy thing to accomplish. Emptiness goes hand in hand with brokenness, and more often than not, it hurts. Strength comes when I am no longer afraid of brokenness because wisdom tells me that I must first be broken before I am whole. Oh, how I wish to be whole, for my soul to be in sync with that of my Creator. 
   The point is, I have found that for so long I only saw the end result of being filled with the presence and knowledge of Jesus. Now I see joy in the empty and trying moments. Those are the moments that build. If I do not face a moment where everything I know about myself is laid out at the foot of the cross, I will never experience the satisfying and fulfilling moment that happens when I am overwhelmingly filled by my redeeming LORD.

Hide and Seek

It seems as though the most popular game when I was younger was always hide and seek.  It was always a favorite at birthday parties, but truth be told, it always kind of scared me.  I never liked the idea of hiding alone in some dark closet and waiting for someone's face to pop in and say, "Found you!" Oh well....I always played, and I liked the rare occasions when someone would be willing to hide with me.  As I remember, there was hardly ever a time while playing this game when someone would not be found.  Most people chose pretty obvious hiding spots, or at least ended up being found after a few minutes of searching.  
As I have grown older, there are several times where I find my myself playing this "hide and seek" game with my phone or keys being the opponent. Silly thing is, they are both much better than any person I have ever played with!  When you think about it, it is really simple. I normally notice my keys are gone at a time when I need them in order to go somewhere. I search and search (maybe have a panic attack also) until I eventually find them, and then I go wherever I was intending to go before I realized my keys were missing. You see, my keys are the the only way my car is going to get me where I need to go. Without them my car does me no good.  When I finally spot my keys during this manic process, I am not going to keep searching...that would make no sense. 
It's not a hard concept to think about.  Why would I not pick up the keys and go on with my plans? It's silly, but it is what we do all the time. 
We look, we search, we seek....for happiness, for satisfaction, for contentment, for comfort, for hope, for healing, for love, and for answers. Thing is, we find what we are looking for and pass it by.  He is there, waiting to be found, and more times than not we see Him and keep searching. Why?
He never leaves.  He never finds a new hiding place. In fact, He is never hiding in the first place. He waits patiently on us, hoping we will see that He is enough. When He is found, there is no reason to keep looking because He is all we need. 
Are you searching for something that will never be found? He promises to be found when you look. You can always find him right where you are at, no matter what it consists of. 
P.S. A good place to start looking for Him is on your knees. 

But I will find you in the place I'm in, find you when I'm at my end,

Find you when there's nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.

You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty,

When I am weak, when I am lost and searching

I'll find you on my knees.

Is it a lie?

The word "worship" has come to mean many things. It is probably most often used in talking about music, and I am guilty of using it in that context myself. The true meaning of worship has been weighing heavy on my heart. My Bible defines worship as.... "to express praise and devotion." Hmmmmm.....this definition stirred up some conviction in my life, as it should almost every Christian.  We sang these words last night:

"I will worship You Lord, only You Lord.

And I will bow down before you, only You Lord."

As Christ followers, we should constantly be examining things in our lives and comparing them to the standards the Lord laid has written out for us in His word.  I wonder how many times we express more praise and devotion towards our favorite sports team than we do to our loving Savior. I wonder how many times we express more praise and devotion to our "significant other" than we do to the one who created them for us. I wonder how many times we express more praise and devotion to our jobs and money than we do to the one who has richly blessed us with more than enough. I wonder how many times we express more praise and devotion to the church, as a building, instead of to the cornerstone and foundation of the family of God. I wonder how many times we express more praise and devotion towards the material things in our lives instead of towards the one who told us to give to "the least of these."

All these things are great to show devotion for, but the problem happens when they receive more praise and devotion than the one who has freed our souls! You see, I feel as though we have grown too familiar with the word worship. Most of us are worshiping so many things, we would not even be able to list them all; yet, we proclaim to have no other God's before Him. 

Take my heart, I lay it down

At the feet of you who's crowned

And take my life, I'm letting go

I lift it up, to you who's throned.

Far too many times, we sing lyrics like this, but we do not live lyrics like this. I firmly believe that living out the words of songs like this defines true worship. Slowly being able to recognize the things we express more praise and devotion to is not easy, but it is vital. We have a Lord who has lifted us out of the darkest places known to man, who has healed our soul and offered us redemption; isn't He the only one who deserves out praise and devotion?

Take my fret, take my fear

All I have, I'm leaving here

Be all my hopes, be all my dreams

Be all my delights, be my everything.

I pray you and I discover the true meaning of worship, but more importantly, I pray we would have the knowledge live it. 

 

A Perfect Gift

If I am a steadfast person, I am fixed in one direction. My eyes stay facing the same way, and I don't look back. I am "steadily directed," and my purpose is unchanging. You see, for a Christian to be steadfast it means that his gaze is fixed only in the direction of Jesus. The things of the world might temporarily pass along, but a steadfast Christian doesn't turn their head away from the image of the Savior. The Bible offers a wonderful gift to him who has a steadfast mind, a gift that I have needed so much lately. That gift is peace....perfect peace.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You." 

Isaiah 26:3

That peace He offers is not something that disappears just because I don't think it or believe it. It remains, just as He remains.